I was speaking with a good friend of mine recently about my lackluster feelings about where my life is. And about the envy I have towards a certain friend who gets to travel all over the world...yep as much as I hate admitting it I do envy other people's adventure's at times, because I feel like my life is so adventure-less.
She suggested I make a bucket list of things I want to do.
It started me thinking....what do I want to do?
Immediately things start coming to my mind that I feel are unattainable...such as not working for a year and being a stay at home mom, visiting the Greek Isles....running an ultra marathon....but then I started thinking maybe these things are not as unattainable as I think.....maybe everything is possible. Maybe not, but maybe.....
It's hard for me to think beyond the things that I need to do. And maybe that's my problem lately. Maybe I need to start wanting more and pushing myself to find more things/moments/activities that I enjoy to broaden my horizons a little.
Right now running is about the only thing I have that I really do for me. And I LOVE it. I couldn't function without the running...and I almost feel guilty that I am even thinking of trying to find more things to do for "me". And maybe it's not about doing more for me, but about enjoying the moments more and not stressing so much about the daily stuff that will always be there.
I need something, because I am feeling stuck, and the only time I am really feeling like myself lately is while running. I don't like where that puts me mentally and I need to change that. I need to remember the things that make me happy, that make me smile, that make me want to get up in the morning. And I am thankful for the running because it has been that "thing" for me, but there has to be more.
Well, these are my deep thoughts for today.
14 mile run planned tomorrow with Jessica....and the weather is supposed to be cooler which I am more than happy about!
This is a great post; I definitely feel like I relate. I've been in a similar funk lately. There are the things I want (which seem completely unrealistic to me - i.e. quitting my job and going back to school full-time to get my PHD)vs. the things I feel like I have to do. Sometimes I feel like I am afraid to take a chance? Like you, running lately has been the only time I feel like myself. Thanks for this post, it's nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings!
ReplyDeleteI have a bucket list (actually part of my page) but it hasn't don'e me much good lately because haven't even tried to mark anything off. That's the whole point of a list, right? I need to get back to it.
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