This is more to document how I feel right now. Not really for all of you...but so I can look back and remember this moment clearly.
When my daughter, Phene, was born in April 2009 I was very fortunate to have a very understanding boss who let me extend my maternity leave by 3 months. Those first 6 months of Phene's life were amazing. Staying home with her and seeing her grow...that time was priceless!
As it came closer to the time I had to go back to work I became increasingly anxious about having to send her to daycare. It was something I could just not imagine having to do. Something I was DREADING! We met a lady at the local church who watched her for the first few weeks, but with our long hours and because Phene at the time was pretty high maintenance it didn't work out for this lady.
Casually we mentioned at work (yes my husband and I work at the same place) that we were looking for a daycare. And of course we were looking for recommendations. It just so happened that one of the guys we work with had a stay at home wife who was working part time at a crappy job that she didn't enjoy. She really wanted to be home to take her kids to school each day and be there when they got home in the afternoons.
Long story short we got in touch with her and she agreed to be Phene's "babysitter"
At first I thought I would feel jealous. Seeing the way Phene reacted to her and how much they enjoyed each other. But honestly all I felt and all I have ever felt is peace of mind. I have never worried, I have never doubted. And I have always known that the "babysitter" loved and treated Phene as her own child. Even the "babysitter's" children embraced Phene and treated her with such love and sweetness. It was truly an amazing situation. That I truly appreciated because I could go to work and never ever worry about how Phene was being treated or if she was safe.
Fast forward to this week....Phene's last week with her "babysitter". The "babysitter" had an oppurtunity come up to start her own business. And had to make a decision that I know was tough for her. It was time. Phene is 2.5 now and ready to start learning to be around other kids....sharing, playing, being more independent.
Now I feel anxious and overwhelmed about picking a safe daycare...knowing that I will never ever have that peace of mind that I did with our "babysitter" again. I cried on Phene's last day there. And I have cried a couple times since. Phene is still too young to understand what is happening, but she talks about the "babysitter" all the time. I am hoping to keep in touch with her, and she has offered to babysit for us on the weekends.
I will miss her so much!...She is an awesome mom to 5 kids...YES you heard me right...5 great well adjusted kids. This lady's heart is bigger than anyone I know. She is smart, beautiful, kind, patient...really the best kind of mom out there! And how lucky that Phene got to spend time with her and be influenced by her. Phene came home one day saying the entire ABC's...she knows shapes...she knows colors...all thanks to the "babysitter" I didn't ask her to do these things...but she did.
From a mother to a mother...I hope she knows she provided me with a priceless gift of 2 years of COMPLETE trust and peace of mind. I hope she knows that I will forever remember her and I will forever be thankful to her for what she provided Phene.